Do you ever just run into a quote, a verse, a poem, or set of words that instantaneously hits you? Something in those words triggers a connection. It could be a memory, a person, or just something within yourself. I am guilty of passing the time flipping through my social media and running into posts with words and phrases or motivation. Most of the time, they really do make for a good share, in which I hope it then sparks joy in someone. But on a rare event, I find these messages hitting really close to home. Not just relatable but almost in sync to what I was going through. Certain messages would feel as though they were intentionally set for me to see. And in those moments, I felt a burst of clarity. It is both an exciting and enigmatic experience. Was it a pleasant coincidence, or were those words truly meant for me? I choose to believe they were no coincidences, and the universe was just presenting me with a sign.
April 9, 2021: “Some things break your heart but fix your vision.”
Looking back, it was a broken heart that opened my eyes to seeing the beauty in all the rubble. I guess you can say that when you’re feeling that low, there was only looking up from then on. This is not to say that I felt better from one day to the next, but I also knew I didn’t want to look back and feel sorry for myself anymore. I had to look at the silver lining and for once give myself the credit I deserved. One day, I was having a conversation with a friend. She had been helping me through my broken heart. I had had already began my journey of healing and self-improvement, but I was still feeling nervous about the future. She told me about running into an article some time ago about writing a letter to the universe. I was to write about my aspirations and all I wanted to see for myself. When my letter was finished, I was then to burn it under the light of a full moon. She admitted trying it a year back and found some truth to it. I didn’t know how effective it would be, but I didn’t see the harm in it.
June 10, 2021: “I am one with the universe. I am the creator of my reality.”
My letter to the universe was filled with a lot of emotion. I released my worries and told it my hopes. It was nothing like making a list of all the things I would do if I won the lottery. It was honest. It was about looking at the spaces in my life that were in need of a shift. I didn’t necessarily think that I would get much of an answer, but the process was in the least therapeutic. I had a frank and sincere conversation with myself in writing that letter, keeping in mind what happiness would mean for me. And no, it didn’t involve money or fame. They were realistic and attainable aspirations, regardless of how far away they seemed to be. I remember watching the letter burn under the moon light and feeling a sense of relief.
After that night, I began making an honest attempt to trust the path I was in. I let go of my own preconceived notion of who I was supposed to be. I let go of the timelines. In my timeline, I had fashioned a very specific idea of what success looked like based on certain events falling in line with stages of my life. Kinda like having a family by the time I was thirty. Part of this idea came from my own desire, but the other half came from social standards, family, and culture. Why did it have to be at thirty? I had built a string of ideas for what I thought needed to happen in order to be fulfilled. All I was really doing was constructing disappointment. This is not to say I shouldn’t have dreams or aspirations by any means. However, I was associating my happiness to who I should become rather than to who I already was. Why couldn’t I feel happy now? Why should I correlate success to a potential when I had already achieved things I could be proud of? After my letter, I started to live in the present.
August 15, 2021: “Life has no particular order. It has no correct sequence in which things should happen.”
The way things began to unfold for me after that day had me to believe the universe was truly reaching out. It had listened and the path for me to follow appeared to be clearer. If I am being honest, it was probably always there, but I was too stubborn to see past the distractions. The hurdle of mountains my old self used to see had turned into a vision of pebbles. I began to look at my life with eyes of gratitude instead of with despair and soon, the blessings unfolded quicker than I could understand. I started to see the beauty in the simplest things like the sun. The sun was guaranteed to come up every morning and yet every day I smiled, grateful that it did. I felt happy and giddy all the time, like when you are when you’re in love. And I was. I was in love with my life.
October 8, 2021: “Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself; It was always about embracing the person you were becoming.”
This wasn’t luck by any means. This was the fruit of the seeds I had planted, but this time I stayed patient and watched them grow. My health, my relationships, and my career were all reaping the benefits of this transformation. For anyone thinking the changes were merely circumstantial, you could be right. My circumstance had changed. But it took one frank conversation with myself, with the universe as my witness, to catapult that change. Words are powerful when packed with intention and I meant everything I said. So regardless of where your belief system lies, believe that there is a plan with you in mind. I am still discovering my place in the world, but I’m ok with figuring it out one day at a time.