If Love Letters Still Exist…

I believe immensely in love. A feeling so pure and immeasurable is worth aspiring to have.

I wanted to start with this statement so there’s no confusion about my view on the subject. Most would never imagine what a hopeless romantic I am. I have a rough exterior which does not usually translate to soft and lovey-dovey. Once again, it’s all part of my charm. Truthfully, I am extremely sappy behind closed doors. I just never cared for people to know. Appearing “cold” has been part of my self-defense mechanism in hopes of guarding my heart from any evil doers. And I am not a damsel in distress, but I do often wait for my prince charming.

I consider myself a defender of love. In times when I overhear someone bashing it because they believe it’s to blame for their unfortunate relationship experiences, it’s hard to stay quiet. Why do people do that? Love wasn’t responsible for their partner’s shitty actions or choice of words. Love didn’t create those arguments, nor did it push them to cheat or lie. In the end, the reasons can be plenty, but it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t the love you were meant to have.

Love exists because we choose to love someone. Our part in it all is deciphering whether we believe they are worthy of our love. Besides, there is so much that goes into a relationship. Struggles will exist but picking the person you want to struggle with is the tricky part. Don’t blame love on those who didn’t know how to value you. Don’t blame love for their failures (or yours if that was the case). Love is beautiful and anyone who has experienced real love knows what a powerful force it can be.

I’m not here pretending to be an expert of love. I’m most certainly not fitting to give advice about it. I can’t convince you to believe in my every idea of it either because what I see does not apply for everyone. We all have our own vision of what love looks like. All I can tell you is I have been there before, and even then, the love I knew is much different than the love I desire now. The vision of this wonderful experience which still waits for me is manifested in a man who happens to see right through me. It’s just a dream, but I keep holding on to this image for reference. I want to be able to recognize him when he comes along. I kept thinking of ways I could interpret my dream of this man. My mind began to think of letters and how love letters just don’t exist anymore. It’s truly unfortunate.

So, if you’re still reading, I’d like to share my letter to this man. I only hope to have a name attached to it someday.

To My Dearest Love,

In this moment, you have my heart. I fell deeply for you, for a list of reasons that this letter may not be able to articulate. How can I put into words all that my heart feels in your presence? What you have given me, I will never be able to have with another. You are my absolute ending to my search for love, and now it is clear why I needed to wait this long. You were the one destined to have my heart.

With you I have never felt more secure with the decision to opening myself to love again. Your eyes hold me in awe of how lucky I truly feel to have you. It is in your eyes that I see your devotion for me and with it my trust. I feel safe in your arms, loosing myself completely in your embrace. You hold me and I don’t want to be anywhere else but here with you. I love the way you support my crazy and relish in my every victory, no matter how small. I can tell you about my aspirations, my worries, and my thoughts without hesitation. I know you’ll listen. How did you become my best friend so quickly? You make every attempt to understand me. You see me and love me for all that I am. You look at me with genuine admiration, and I can see how excited you are to learn more about me each day. The way you laugh and smile back at me makes me wish I could keep making you this happy forever.

Although I know everything won’t always be blue skies, I’m not afraid to face hardships with you. I know we will choose each other over every argument; We won’t lose sight of us in the midst of struggle. You encourage me to be better, and not for you but for myself. This only makes me want to keep trying in hopes of making you proud. You add so much to my life already and were only just starting. How is it that I can’t seem to remember what my life was before you? I see you and I see both my present and my future now.

There is one thing I want to make sure you know…. I am yours. You won my heart fair and square without having to fight for me or needing to win me over. I was simply yours from the start. Every day you will continue to have my admiration, loyalty and devotion, and not because you ask for it. This I choose to willingly give to you for making me feel worthy of love every day. I too will be happy in your every accomplishment. I will listen to your dreams and your worries. I will hold your hand before every leap and catch you if necessary. My eyes will never wander because everything I need is already with you. I don’t know how you came to be mine or why you were destined for me, but we found each other nonetheless. From now on, I only want to walk beside you. You are my person after all.

Always yours,

Cyn

Hopeful for a Love like This Playlist

“Honesty” – Pink Sweat$

“Falling” – Trevor Daniel

“The Author” – Luz

“All I Want” – Olivia Rodrigo

“Can’t Help Falling In Love” – Elvis

“Somebody Like That”– Tenille Arts

“At Last” – Etta James

“I would Die 4 U” – Prince

“Someone to Watch Over Me” – Ella Fitzgerald

“Falling Like the Stars” – James Arthur

“I Don’t Want Miss A Thing” – Aerosmith

“You” – A Great Big World